Couples often come to me caught in a cycle they can describe in detail but haven’t been able to change. One partner pursues while the other withdraws, or the same argument returns, whatever it seems to be about this time.

In couples therapy, I’m less interested in settling the argument than in understanding what each partner brings to it: the histories and expectations that make certain moments so charged. When both people can see the pattern they create together, and their own part in it, a different kind of conversation becomes possible.

I also work with pairs who are not couples.